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TWTG Rides Again

I’m sheepishly, squeamishly, certainly sharing

I’ve had just about enough of your caring

My subjects, I’m sorry

Abruptly I fled, my head, oh my head

Slowly I’m dipping

My toe in the blog pool

Happily single – this girl ain’t no fool

Losing a lover, a friend and a partner

It hasn’t been easy

My art, my heart suffer

I’ll claw my way back

I’ll conquer the kitchen

Because we all know it’s me you’ve been missing


In No Mood

Serenity now!

TWTG has had the shittiest day possible. Hand to God, the worst day in a long, long while. And while I have little to no desire to post tonight, I’m going to do it because I’m committed to the cause. No fancy talk, no snarky comments, just me bitching a little bit about how life can simply take it out of you. I’m sure I’ll be back to my ever so charming self in no time, so please be patient.

Regardless of my personal issues I still had to feed the troops. Here’s what I came up with. It was delicious.

At Home Shake N Bake

I even managed sides! Supermom indeed.

  • 5-6 pork chops
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 2 cups panko
  • 1/3 cup parmesan
  • 1 tbsp Italian seasoning
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp pepper

Preheat oven to 350˚. Place all ingredients except pork chops in a large Ziplock baggie. Shake a little to mix. Dredge pork chops in buttermilk and allow most of the liquid to drain off. Place pork chops in bag and shake to coat. Bake on a baking sheet (duh) for 20 minutes. I turned mine at 10 minutes so both sides could brown, but you can also just leave them be. Serve to grateful family. (Yeah, they better be grateful that the knife was only used for making dinner.)

Again, I’m sorry that you won’t find anything clever here this evening. I suppose even someone as fabulous as me is allowed to have a bad day.

TWTG says, “Sigh.”

Suffering For My Art

Hulk smash!

Check the airspeed velocity of your local porcine population, The White Trash Gourmet is about to use her food blog for the unthinkable: to discuss food. Specifically, the creative process behind the food, and how much work it takes to be me. If I’ve made this whole web logging thing seem simple to anyone, or maybe even elegant… that’s just the shell game my chest plays. While you’re busy talking to me between my neck and naval, the rest of me is selflessly taking the heat so you can stay in the kitchen.

Consider this: I’ve posted every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the last five months. I realize that’s a drop in the bucket compared to how some people blog, but think about what I put into each lovingly-crafted post: a minimum of 350 words and a brand new recipe. Easy? Absolutely. Now do it three times a week without missing a deadline, while juggling a career, a relationship and motherhood cubed.

Plus, I don’t know if you know this about me, but organization doesn’t exactly send me a family newsletter at Christmas. It’s not as though I’ve kept an autobiographical card catalog of culinary masterpieces—unless I specify otherwise, the featured meal/drink/whatever has likely been plucked from my noodle/butt/whatever that day. (Usually after too much hair pulled and too much of my own money spent. Someone remind me why I quit smoking.) Now I’m not congratulating myself; no back-patting is going to be found here. I’m merely expressing my newfound admiration for anyone that can make a blog work even barely.

Just look at today’s recipe as an example of the rigors of creativity: I wanted to make something with polenta for no better reason than I thought I could. I was originally going to attempt a sort-of lasagna. I had Russell make his super secret (but super perfect) marinara sauce, bought mushrooms, zucchini, shallots, garlic and fancy cheese… then decided lasagna was too plebeian for my audience. Back to the drawing board, stupid. I decided on a tower—something that really showed off the layers and let each element stand on its own.

It was delicious, to be sure, but then I’m tasked with selling it to the world (i.e. all my 200 followers) in a way that’s funny, clever and hopefully topical. Should I run out of topics, then all I can do is talk about the arduous process that lead up to the absence of topics. And this is just for Monday. Long story short, treasure your bloggers. They may not be fun to look at, but their salt is definitely earned. I’m fucking tired.

Leaning Tower of Polenta

Born of suffering.

  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 shallot, minced
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 orange bell pepper, diced
  • 4 zucchini, sliced
  • 10 oz sliced crimini mushrooms
  • 3 cups spinach
  • splash of balsamic vinegar
  • marinara sauce
  • 1 package prepared polenta (in the plastic tube)
  • shredded mozzarella

Heat olive oil in a saute pan over medium heat. Add shallot and garlic and saute for 1 minute. Add remaining vegetables, sauteing until mushrooms and zucchini are cooked through. Add a splash of balsamic vinegar and set aside. Thinly slice polenta and pan fry in a small amount of olive oil, until browned on each side. Remove from pan to plate lined with a paper towel. Place one round of polenta on a plate. Top with a spoonful of warm marinara sauce, a spoonful of the vegetable mix and a sprinkle of mozzarella. Repeat. Top with a third round of polenta, a small amount of sauce, cheese and fresh basil leaves. Take pictures (mandatory) because this looks as great as it tastes.

Complainingly as the above reads, I actually love the attention that having this forum has garnered. (How could I not? It’s about me.) I had been bragging for years that I was going to make a cooking blog one day… I just had no idea how much I was biting off for the chewing. Anyone who dismisses this virtual community as “just a hobby” is asking for a shanking.

TWTG says, “Hello Japan times five.”