Everyone I follow on Twitter is at Comic-Con today, and their tweets—about the outs I won’t be able to geek—are like tiny lightsabers piercing my fat nerd-heart. Officially, money and time are the reasons behind my absence there, but perhaps something more sinister is at work. The following is an actual (slightly paraphrased) transcript from my relationship:
The only fictitious part is the idea of Russell wearing shorts. I can’t thank my cohort enough, however, for putting this comic together. He really went above and beyond, and finally reveled himself to be good for something.
- pork chops
- Italian seasoning
- 1/4 cup lemon vincotto vinegar
Liberally season pork chops with salt, pepper and italian seasoning. Set aside for 15–20 minutes. Pour vinegar over chops and let them marinate for about 10 minutes. Grill on barbeque, basting with vinegar until done. For thin bone-in chops, I grill for about 7 minutes per side.
Not that anyone asked, but monsieur Bourdain is among my Five—that is, the five celebrities I’m allowed to fool around with, irrespective of my relationship status. Witty, handsome, tall (for a Frenchman), anti-vegan and has multiple, spongeable foodie careers? Russell’s right to keep my anatomy in check, especially since Comic-Con is the perfect venue to accidentally violate him. I mean, I was just some Cthulhu he bumped into in the bathroom, right? The room was tiny, I couldn’t see through the eyeholes and when we tripped, I had no control over what/where on him my tentacles perforated. Based on the strength of their porn, the Japanese must think this is the best idea in the history of ever.
TWTG says, “My hands smell like cleaning supplies and onion.”