Such is my luck: today marks my hundredth post, so of course I’m not home to celebrate it. I’m traveling for work—at the mercy of WordPress’s severely limited mobile app. Observing this milestone is not something I can put off, either, as I promised myself to update every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Hence, there will be no entry in the infallible tome of culinary perfection, no snarky musings about the inarguable wit of trashy goodness and no maximum cleavage. Just keep worshipping me as the big deal I so plainly am, loyal subjects. I’ll make it up to you. Pretty soon, I’m gonna let you give me all your money.
TWTG says, “Women are weird. That’s why I don’t date them: they’re horrible.”