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Dissent Into Madness

Today’s garden variety American.

Contrarians like to compare anyone not exactly like themselves to farm animals. Those outside their purview are either sheep, cattle or suffer from a herd mentality. But… who are they talking about? I don’t know any traditional conformists anymore, and neither do you. Is there anybody left that’s still happy with their government (and I don’t just mean with our current administration)? Who among us still buys into commercialism, or is seduced by political rhetoric, or takes anything, really, at face value? Everyone treads cautiously now. Everyone reads between lines. Everyone is hip, ironic and in on the joke. The establishment has become just as pierced, tatted and sexually abhorrent as those that thought such expressions were a forward-thinking fuck you against it.

I’m generalizing, but I’m more right than wrong here. When was the last time somebody said (on a platform that mattered) the world was beautiful or life was just plain good? Shit has always rolled downhill, but now it’s socially acceptable to Sisyphus it back up with endless objection and finger-pointing. So, then, isn’t it more of a rebellion to trust people nowadays? Aren’t you taking more of a risk by putting your faith into—and expecting the best from—society? Maybe that seems foolish, but rebels are often deemed foolish for their time. It takes the culture ending to appreciate the truly different. After all, in a world of black sheep, the white sheep is… something super profound, I’m sure.

Rebel With An Ice Cream Cake

For a belated birthday girl.

  • 1 batch cookie ball dough
  • 1/2 gallon vanilla ice cream
  • 1 cup peanut butter chips
  • 1 cup white chocolate chips
  • 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1 cup heavy whipping cream
  • sprinkles

Prepare cookie ball dough and press into bottom of springform pan. Place in freezer for 20–30 minutes. Soften ice cream until spreadable consistency and spread a layer over the cookie ball crust. Return to freezer for an additional 20–30 minutes. This next part is off-the-cuff because I originally just layered the melted chips. This made it impossible to cut, however, as the frosting was just too thick. I think the solution is to make a ganache out of each of the chips. So, heat the heavy whipping cream until just boiling, then whisk some with each chip variety until the frosting has a smooth consistency. Add a layer of peanut butter ganache to the cake and return to freezer until that layer is hard enough to spread the white chocolate ganache on top. Repeat with the chocolate ganache and top with sprinkles. I’ll try this soon (or not) to see how it works, then revise the recipe if needed.

To be clear, in no way am I suggesting that a return to conformity is the answer. Just realize that, with the possible exception of Mesopotamia, it’s all still here. For all our mistakes, there are more people alive today than everyone killed over said mistakes combined. Stare at some clouds. Giggle at how bizarre-looking a tree really is. Make babies. And, always remember, that thing on your face will never heal if you don’t stop picking at it. The world is beautiful. Life is just plain good.

TWTG says, “That’s a huge penis on a turtle!”


5 responses »

  1. You rock. That’s all. Well said.

  2. okay, face picking, it’s a HORRIBLE habit and i’ve got an molting crater on my right temple to prove it. ugh. and it hurts. not to mention, foundation doesn’t cover it up.

  3. Turtle’s have penises….!


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