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Practice Makes Adequate

No, it doesn't say 30.

In my three short months of blogging goodness, I’ve compiled quite a glossary for/about myself. I’ve been a martini maker, a cigarette smoker and a honey badger. I’ve been a seller outer, a procrastinator and a smug fuck. You also know me as a Capricorn, a (mostly) antiracist and even a better Betty Crocker. Clearly, I enjoy the sound of my own voice—more accurately, the click clack of my own typing. So, in the interest of expanding my self-absorbed compendium, allow me to induct my latest descriptor: Yogini. I’ve been practicing Yoga for over a decade now, and it has become so integral to my inner bliss that when it was I-just-turned-thirty-I-must-need-a-tattoo time, I decided to get an Om on my ass. Technically, above my ass (although this tramp needs no stamping), but that hasn’t made it any less excitable for those not cut from my genetic cloth. You’re welcome, hookers.

Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert (resident or other) on the art—the closest I ever came to a teaching gig was being a substitute at the YMCA. However, Yoga doesn’t really encourage a mastery of it. My instructors made sure we understood that we were attending “Yoga practice” not “Yoga perfect,” and this is absolutely true of cooking as well. You can’t control inspiration and you can’t compose divinity. Those that measure ingredients down the milliliter, or need an egg timer to tell them when something looks done, do not understand the idea of grace. In everything worth doing, you need an element of grace. Grace is sometimes inelegant. Grace is sometimes sloppy. But, it is always you.

In that spirit, I want to share something I pulled from my Om-printed ass after it was first pulled from the sea. You wouldn’t think anything could be yummy after a process like that, but trust me, I’m the Queen of Everything.

Fish ‘N Chips

  • 5 Mahi Mahi filets cut into strips across the grain of the meat (or another firm fish of your choosing)
  • 1 cup plain yogurt
  • 3/4 tsp lemon pepper
  • Salt
  • 1 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs
  • 1/4 cup parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 tsp dried dill

Preheat oven to 400˚. Mix yogurt with 1/4 tsp of the lemon pepper and pinch of salt. Dredge fish “sticks” in yogurt. Mix panko, parmesan, 1/2 tsp lemon pepper, dill and salt (to taste) in a large zipper bag. Place fish in bag and gently shake until well-coated. Cover baking sheet with parchment paper and spray with cooking spray. Bake 15 minutes, turning on broiler for last 1–2 minutes to brown panko. Serve with “chips” (see my Basic Oven Fries recipe), and tartar sauce. My recipe for tartar sauce is as follows:

Best Tartar Sauce Ever

  • 1 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 tbsp minced shallot
  • 1 tbsp dill relish
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • 1/2 tsp dried dill

Mix all ingredients until blended. Refrigerate for at least 20 minutes before serving. That’s it.

My favorite punching bag, the vegans, are of course exempt from grace. In fact, graceful vegan is nothing short of an oxymoron. This sounds cruel, but it’s actually not and I’ll explain why. Grace is about holding on by allowing yourself to let go. How could such a thing ever happen when your entire dietary philosophy centers around what you won’t let yourself do?


4 responses »

  1. Great post! I’ve only recently discovered your blog – it appears we have similar sensibilities and you’re fun to read. Totally agree on vegans – they just wear me out. The fish n chips look delicious!

    • Do you come from a family where being able to cook is just expected? I’m always a bit sad when I miss a holiday meal because literally every one of my aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins can cook very well. We all get a wee bit competitive so everything is of course delicious.

      I’m following you too! 🙂

  2. This is so up my alley!!!! 🙂

    • You are the one that turned me on to baking with panko. And quite possibly using the yogurt to stick the panko to the chicken or fish or pork “nuggets”. Kid’s love anything that is in nugget form and can be dunked. 🙂


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