Almost a month into 40 and I seem to be right on the wrong track. In fact, let’s make a checklist of how well I’ve adhered to the stereotype. Skirts too high? Check. Necklines too low? Check. An abundance of debt met with an absence of equity? Check. A bad marriage replaced by a 29-year-old boy thing? Absolutely check. I think I’m supposed to find a loophole in my insurance to pay for implants, but based on the recent search engine terms that have led sheep unto my flock (my favorite being “bristling boobs”), biology already has my back. Rather, the front. Where the bazongas are.
All that’s really missing is the convertible… so, naturally, bitch went out and got one. It’s a 2009 People’s Car Eos (or Volkswagen Eos if you wanna be all European). It’s sporty, purty and just the kind of materialistic goodness that an aging scene kid needs to stay young at heart. Did I sell out to conformity or was I buying into it? I guess KiLo already answered that question. As for how I can afford the car, the answer is barely. My teeth still have their skin, but I can now proudly(?) dub myself The Poor White Trash Gourmet. That doesn’t mean I’ll be modifying the URL anytime soon, just that I’ll be financially destitute for many, many, many years. Did I mention it was sporty?
Basic Oven Fries
- 8 potatoes, skin on
- 1/4 olive oil
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tbsp Italian seasoning
- 2 tbsp dried minced onions
- Salt & pepper
Preheat oven to 400˚. I prefer to use convection (I find it makes the fries crispier), but this is not required. Wash potatoes and pat dry. I cut them into quarters and then slice into about 1/2 inch pieces. Toss potatoes with remaining ingredients in large bowl. Arrange in a single layer on baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes, stirring with spatula halfway through. Potatoes are done when they are nicely browned.
I should probably learn to speak Sputnik, given that my new ride has left me penniless and dependent on potatoes for starches. Soviet-like struggles resulting from German engineering… why does that sound eerily familiar?