Given that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012, and the Earth with it, it really shouldn’t matter whether or not I count calories. However, if I’m going to be an opinionated bitch ’til the day I die, I might as well be a skinny one, too. Dramatic music. Today, The White Trash Gourmet starts her diet. Which one? A lady (ha!) never fasts and tells. The bigger question is how will it affect my ability to deliver sugary, peanut buttery, bacon-infused goodness? Simple: it won’t. My home has no short supply of guinea pigs for my fiendish ways, so I can always create these culinary delights and just shed a tear (hopefully ten pound tears).
Maybe I’ll include healthier alternatives. Maybe I’ll focus on salads. Maybe I’ll run a 13.1 (worst bumper stickers ever, by the way). For now, I’m mostly just pissed about having to sacrifice bigger stuff so I can fit into smaller stuff. I’m also turning the big 4-0 in 9 days… expletive, expletive, expletive! Someone may die that day. When I murder them. In the face. With fire.
Le sigh. At least vulgarity doesn’t make me fat. Who needs a drink? Or two?
Serves one sad sack
2 ounces Three Olives Cake vodka
3/4 ounce limoncello
3 ounces half & half
Shake well over ice. Serve with a garnish of whipped cream and sprinkles. Oh, so good. Tastes like a vodka-soaked lemon pound cake. I saw the cake vodka behind the counter at a liquor store and was immediately like, “OMG I need that! Right now!” And at a price point of $12.99 a bottle its not a bad deal.
Here’s another that we tried out New Year’s Eve:
Sunday Morning Breakfast Martini (photo not included… sue me)
2 ounces bacon vodka (see Desert Island Diva)
1 ounce Frangelico
1/2 ounce banana liquor
3 ounces half & half
Shake well over ice. Serve with a sprinkle of Bacon Salt. Tastes like banana nut pancakes with a side of bacon.
Both of these drinks are guaranteed to sweeten up any evening (morning, afternoon, second breakfast, etc.), can potentially cure cancer and come with a special prize inside every box. A very happy New Year to all from The White Trash Gourmet! Muah!